She's Colombian, her dad's Lebanese, she sings, she dances, she's got a supermodel face and a sex kitten bod, she acted in a soap; "So what," you're yawning. But Gabriel Garcia Marquez said no one compares to her; how many Nobel laureates have paid homage to Britney?
Her music's crap, but it's crap she wrote! (And have you seen that thing she does with her hips?) I'm holding out for the inner rock chick to break out of the J-Lo mold. Rumor has it you grew up on Zeppelin and The Cure, Shak. Bellydance some o' that into your next record.
- Sex Appeal: 9
- Outfits: Pocahontas, Beyoncé and Cher called; they want their lingerie back. Keep screening; it looks better on you. 10
- Bonus Points: 0
- Demerits: 1. We already have one Alanis Morissette.
- ASNBMR Score: 9
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